For the simple reason that I have no idea on the mechanics of riding a horse, I am calling for all horses to be outlawed. Adding onto this I’ve never had horse meat and thus feel no need keep horses around for their meat. Purely making horses an unnecessary blight on the landscape. They serve no purpose to my life other than sometimes looking nice. But there are enough things that look nice that don’t blight the landscape. There are plenty of other animals that serve a much more obvious purpose, such as tasting delicious. The only thing keeping them alive is horse racing, which could just as easily be taken over by a more interesting animal racing, such as crocodiles. Crocodile racing would be more exciting not only for the viewer but also for the jockey themselves. Another alternative would be having weight classes for dog racing and not restrict it to just greyhounds. Give the pugs a chance.

Horses as a form of transport are also outmoded and far too expensive, from what I gather. They may be able to run at quite a pace but this is mostly useless, especially when ridden in England. Just get a car. Stop blocking the road when I’m trying to go for a polluting aimless Sunday drive. I don’t want to have to slow down just because you’ve had the forethought of getting an engineless car that looks nice. I can’t be dealing with it. Of course, if I could own or ride a horse, I would. This is utterly beside the point that I am trying to make. I’d love to be cantering down country lanes but unfortunately all I can afford is a little ford fiesta. Which will have to do for now. Even if I do have to make little neighing noises every once in a while as it tries to stall to give the impression I actually have a horse under control.

The crux of my argument in this short essay is that all horses should be shot. They’ve had their day, think Boxer in Animal Farm. Some times you just have to realise that the sun is setting and that there is nothing left you can do about it. Times change and you just have to move on. And give the pugs a chance.

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