True Story:

One of my old boyfriends used to keep two hamsters in his room. They were both quite old by the time he and I got together so we both understood that their end was imminent. One of them sported a large hairless bulge on his back and so was known as Tumor. Eventually Tumor did meet his end, but not in the way we thought it would happen. The old boyfriend came home from school one day to find Tumor bits all over the cage and the other hamster cowering in a corner. When they went to the pet store to get a new hamster they asked the guy behind the counter about the incident. He said "sometimes old hamsters just explode."

One time I asked my science teacher if i could put a hamster in the vacuum bell and watch it explode. She got real mad and made me write a letter to the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) explaining why it is a bad idea to but hamsters in a vacuum. I never got a response to the letter but I'm sure they were very confused as to why they got it.

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