dreamed i kissed a blonde girl
in my kitchen with the lights off

a hiccup of memory

kissing you in
the restaurant bathroom, nervous
fingers testing the
two solid swells of your little ribcage
used and relieved i didn't like it
more

a show to raise your grandeur
paraded my first girlkiss
hazed with drunken exhibition
and stomped all over it

dreamed i kissed a blonde girl
in my kitchen with the lights off
and the second i do i
lose my small hands, my girlness
my eyelashes, my galaxy
against a universe of her and
all my names are shook from me

against her i am not a girl

i am a phantom
transparent and lost