I literally had about four or five false awakenings in a row. In the first, we lived in a kind of mansion, although the bedroom was about the same. In one of the versions of thinking I was waking up, I remember thinking how my partner was making funny sounds while breathing. In the next one, I worked out that the bird outside our flat was making chirping sounds while she was breathing nomally. It was almost as if some part of my brain had woken up to work that out, but I was incorrect in assuming I was awake. In one of the times, it looked like my body was limp, but then it turned out I was sleeping almost on top of my lover, and it was her arm that felt like it was... well, asleep. I kept on trying to open my eyes, just about managing, trying to turn around to see her face, and never managing that. That really freaked me out. No matter how I contorted my neck or how I sat up, I cold never see her face, as if she was always just behind me. Then I'd make my way past her legs and onto the floor, then try to open my eyes again, and I'd be back on the bed. After a while it was beginning to really annoy me. And scare me. I thought of that guy in the film Waking Life and how he was scared he wouldn't wake up, that he was dead. I tried even harder to open my eyes. I waved one of my hands in front of my face, clicking with it. I could hear the sound, with the correct panning for it being in front of my eyes, and I could see the bed, but I couldn't see my hand. Either I was having a negative hallucination - the lack of seeing a hand - or I was in some sort of paralyzed state and having a positive hallucination - being able to hear something that wasn't happening. I got really freaked out by not being able to wake up properly, and eventually managed to wake up. I checked my hands. Normal. The room was somehow boring; static. Simple. There was nothing interesting or magical about the universe any more. It was dull. I turned around, and thankfully, I could see my lover's face just fine. I think I was shaking slightly. I got up. There's no way I wanted to go back to sleep. It was nine, and the last alarm went off at seven ten, so I could have been doing that for anything up to almost two hours.

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