Last night I dreamt that my house was undergoing one of those TV "extreme makeovers". I don't know which one. I don't know whether Ty Pennington was involved. Certainly Paige Davis and Genevieve Gorder were not involved. God's blood, I would have remembered that.

One of the remarkable things was the extent to which they were going to renovate my house. Normally, these shows (at least Trading Spaces) only tackle one room. These folks were going to totally revamp my house. I mean, there was going to be a fountain in one of the front rooms creating a stream that ran out of the house and into the front yard. I live in a 1,300 square foot ranch. Talk about making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Another amazing thing is they didn't make me do any of the work. I woke up in the midst of the renovation, when everything was in the works, so I never got to see the results.

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