1.
hans bellmer was a strange man
an ordinary man
he loved women and he was afraid of them
he stroked them sketched them
sculpted
them he wanted to open them and
invade them
but mostly he liked
dolls
hans bellmer imagines
the department store
mannequins
during the day they watch
their painted eyes follow us trace our shape
so carefully copying certain angles
of the neck various alignments
of spine and hips
accomplishing thus a
facsimile of desire
which must be practiced
performed
as must all desire
and so the mannequin lovers come to life at night
galatea and
galatea in the
shadow
of kitchen appliances and discount furniture among
the mixing bowls and waffle irons
with stiff movements
ball joints squeaking
they embrace
hans bellmer imagines
hesitant scrape of
doll on doll of plastic
on plastic
carved mouths clicking together clashing lips
plastic hips
chipping
they take off their sterile clothes they
take off their limbs they take
and give
offering
here he hears them say here
here
have my arm my foot my head
my waist
wants to be grafted
to your legs.
2.
i knew a
girl who is not
desire's puppet
she leaves the dishes in the sink for days
she writes poems that she pretends to hate
she leaves her soup cans on her floor
she likes to show her lovers to the door
when you walk with her
she's neither here nor there
she lets you take her hand
because she doesn't really care
she would like to care but doesn't
care to care would like to hope
but cannot hope even for hope
and so
she doesn't really want
she doesn't want at all
she lights cigarettes she doesn't really want
and inhales them like she'll never really want
to breathe again;
this is precisely the way she kissed me
this perfect semblance of need;
in the early mornings sometimes I
imagined her–alone:
again, or still, or always.
her only companion a lit cigarette. ember
amber glow cast across her face. her face
unmoving. eyes downcast. her hands
at rest, still restless
around her
smoke
(and time)
lazily
unfurl
—the cigarette her companion
she a mirage and these words
her unwanted companion
her mirror
in the early mornings
when i wanted to be
her mirror.
3.
oh god oh god oh god oh yes oh you
just completely drive me completely wild
you said who
are you and how do i know
you and
(smiled)
and the truth is that i don't
even know half the time or all the time
who i am and the truth is that
i'm scared
a bit of completely letting go or
opening up but the truth is also
that with you i want to i want you to
(you i want and somehow you want me too)
and the truth is that you're the first ever
to make me want
to make me want to make a poem out of
(joy)
the truth is that your smile splits
time in two
you make the world
anew; you only you