When the space aliens arrive, we will have to teach them not only our language, but our humor, ignorance, and other fascinating thought processes and quirks of the general human mind, or there will be trouble. Doubtless, their huge brains will be quickly able to absorb our puny languages, even the tough ones, fairly quickly. But the minute some overweight yokel says, "My, my, they're as cute as hell," war will break out. It will not be a war we can win.

Phrases like "cool as shit" will probably just puzzle them. But to say that someone's as cute as a state of being to which most people pass after this life, where they spend eternity in maddening torment.... Well, that just shows us to be the dangerously unthinking swine we are. They'll have to exterminate us, lest we spread.

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