See You Again is a song by pop-tart Miley Cyrus, from debut solo album, "Meet Miley Cyrus" (which was part of some sort of Hannah Montana double album, but also a Miley Cyrus album -- it's confusing), supposedly written by Miley Cyrus herself. Now, I'm no Miley Cyrus fan by any means, and the only reason I'm writing about this at all is that I saw an argument in a forum about whether a certain progression repeated in the song is a ripoff of the Corey Hart song Sunglasses At Night, which I do like because it is trippy and obsessive and has the ultimate Eighties combination of synthesizers and, well, everything else Eighties.

Anyway, the song--the Miley Cyrus song--is.... troubling.

Like all Miley Cyrus songs, it's about a boy that she likes. In this case, it's the boy she's just met and wants to be with, not the one she's already involved with and thinks is perfect, or the one she just broke up with but wishes she was back together with even though he's a jerk.

The problems begin with the first southernly drawled line: "I got my sights set on you, and I'm ready to aim." Okay, if you have your sights set on someone, doesn't that mean you've already aimed? Isn't that the very definition of having one's sights set? Isn't the next step the actual firing? Perhaps it's just a set up to rhyme with the next line, referring to Miley's heart which "can never be tamed," which makes me wonder why anyone would want to date her, but also explains why she apparently goes through so many boys in her songs.

And the next line, where she reveals that she knew this boy in particular was "something special" when he "spoke" her name. Not "said" her name, but spoke it, like he was casting a summoning spell or something. And apparently the spell was successful, because now Miley 'can't wait to see him again.'

Next, Miley reveals one of her superpowers, which is a "way of knowing when something is right." She claims she must have known this boy "in another life" - wait a minute, isn't young Miss Cyrus a Christian, like all well-behaved country music stars? Where comes this obvious allusion to reincarnation? It comes from the deep connection she felt with this boy when he looked in her eyes (aww, she looked into his soul). You know, they say Ted Bundy had innocent puppy dog eyes -- that's how he was able to kill as many sorority girls as he did. But I digress. The point is, that, again, she can't wait to see him again.

The chorus tells the heartbreaking story of Miley's romantic ineptitude. The first time she met this boy she "freaked out" and "just kept looking down" and "st-st-stuttered" (which I felt to be an unfair jab at real stutterers) and "couldn't breathe." So this boy asks what's wrong with her, and, according to Miley, "My best friend Leslie said 'oh she's just being Miley'" -- is this a shout out to a real best friend, or is this "Leslie" a fictional construct? And is that what Miley is really like?

The following line, sung in a rising crescendo is the most bizarre to me -- "The next time we hang out, I will redeem myself" -- isn't that just an odd juxtaposition, since "hanging out" is just, like, casual, and yet Holy Fucking Shit REDEMPTION!! she screamed, her flaming hair akimbo in the wind as the sword of an ancient cult swung down from her hand!! And, oh, yeah, her heart can't rest until then. Which is good, because the heart really can't rest until you're dead. Oh, and in case the message is unclear, repeat, she can't wait to see him again.

Next Miley reveals that she has a crazy feeling deep inside. No shit!! She doesn't specify which part of her anatomy, but "crazy" feelings usually emanate from the brainium. But wait, there's more -- despite Miley's romantic ineptitude in their previous encounter, this boy has called and asked to see her - tomorrow night!! I'm guessing he smells the desperation and wants to take advantage of it in the usual way.

That's pretty much the end of it. So then we just have a few variations on the chorus, nothing new, leaving us hanging and without knowing what happens between now and the time it takes for Miley to decide she never, ever wants to see this boy again.

Recap: so, for the record, Miley Cyrus is some kind of crazy reincarnated astrological stalker. And she's coming for you.

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