In the past week I have been attacked by bees in three different occasions.

  1. I was in my room working on my biology report when all of a sudden a swarm of bees were around my head. I figured a window had been left open throughout the day, and disregarded the entire incident.
  2. This time it didn't escape my thoughts so easily and it took place no more than 29 hours later. I was sitting on the commode, minding my own business, when a bee stings me on my right leg. Before I know it, bees are swarming all around me. I run out of the restroom with my pants halfway down. This is when I realized either we had a bee problem or bees had a problem with me.
  3. Two days after the commode incident, I was walking my little sister to her bus, when I see five bees going way over their average speed of 12 miles per hour toward me. They start flying over me and don't even go near my sister.

These three occasions have caused me to devise two theories explaining why I am continuously attacked by bees.

  1. After examining my head closely, I've realized that I may possibly have a laser pointing at my head, in which the ultraviolet(bees cannot see most colors) light that it is emitting can only be seen by bees. Since bees cannot focus (they have no pupils) and realize that the light is pointed to my head and not their hive or a flower, they near it to get a better look. This laser pointed at my head is coming from an unknown source and as soon as I find out who is behind it, HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE.
  2. Another theory that I have gathered is that these bees did not mean to sting me (stung twice). They were sent to me for a different reason. They are looking for a human representative to stand up for them in the human world, and they have chosen me. My name, Xochitl, stands for the goddess of flowers, and they somehow know this. This made me a candidate. Why they are just now deciding to stand up to humans, I do not know. Perhaps they are tired of having to leave their nest due to us humans. Perhaps they want to take over the world. Whatever the reason may be, I have been chosen.

It's been five days and no more attacks. Maybe because I realized what was really going on and they stopped. I miss the attacks. Life isn't the same anymore. It don't have that spunk that it had when I was attacked. BEES, WHERE ARE YOU? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

Also a punishment in Dante's Inferno. This punishment is given to the Inefficient or Indifferent, who are not technically in Hell, but are still being punished.

These miscreants, who never were alive,
Were naked, and were stung exceedingly
By gadflies and by hornets that were there.

These did their faces irrigate with Blood,
Which, with their tears commingled, at their feet
By the disgusting worms was gathered up.

  -- Inferno - Canto III

As far as how this relates to clearpebbles' problem, I couldn't even begin to guess. But it does give a new definition to hell on earth...

I used to read Clearpebbles's write up with amusement, but now that I have experienced that which is Continuous Bee Attack my life shall never bee the same (haha, bad pun, couldn't resist - sorry).

First Contact: Recently I attended a church camp. I am not a religious person - AT ALL, but my parents wished me to go so I complied. The third day, I was exploring the main building at the camp and walked around a balcony on the second floor. As I make my way to the door on the other side, I find out it is locked and turn back around. Just my luck, it seemed that I had jarred a bees nest when I shut the door the first time coming onto the balcony and they were just WAITING for me to return. I managed to swat 2 of them down, but the other 7 stung me in several places. After crawling back inside and taking many pain killers I remember none of the rest of that week.

Second Strike: Two days after camp ended I approached our tool shed to retrieve the lawn mower. Upon opening the door, I saw a black figure fly towards my face. I ducked and turned around just in time for a bee to sting me above the eyebrow (which hurts like a bitch lemme tell ya). Following that, three of his buddies went for my leg - and found it. Running back in the house in pain I vowed revenge.

Counterstrike: I grabbed my smoke grenade - a Raid fumigating canister. Strafed to the side of the shed, pulled the pin and lobbed it into the window and sealed the shed. Five hours later, the shed was opened and aired. I laughed gloriously over the bodies of my vanquished enemies - at least 30 of them had been hiding in the rafters the sons of bitches.

So in conclusion - Clearpebbles: If they are looking for human representatives, they came to the wrong place! My name, Tony, ALSO can be taken as meaning flower (Greek root - anthos, anther), BUT it also means "noteworthy or highly praiseworthy" which has JACK SHIT TO DO WITH BEES!!! So in conclusion, if they have forsaken me, I wish to remain forsaken.

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