Cluck U is a chain of fast food places that specialize in chicken wings and buffalo wings. They always deliver and they only exist near colleges and universities. good, spicy, cheap food, delivered real quick to your dorm room or keg party.

In addition to making wings with different sauces on them (honey hickory, cajun, teriyaki, etc.) they have several levels of spicyness - mild, atomic, thermonuclear and 911.

The 911-flavored wings are so spicy that you actually have to sign a waiver to get them. It's only half-serious - the waiver ends with the sentence "I am an idiot.". Then again, it's only half-kidding; the effect of whatever hell-spawned concoction they put on those wings is very close to the effects of tear gas. Lest you think i'm exaggerating, allow me to point out that the preceding observation was made by a friend of mine who was in the Army for a while. After eating some of the demon-crafted 911s, he explained to me, through watering eyes, a runny nose, and between huge gulps of water, how during basic training, army recruits are actually exposed to tear gas. He went on to say that how he felt right then was remarkably similar. I was too busy cramming my mouth with as much bread and water as i could get and eating handfuls of TUMS to pay attention, but he told me again later, when the gastrointestinal holocaust had ended.

Regardless, the food is first-rate, as far as cheap, spicy buffalo wings go. I heartily recommend it to all you carnivores who may read this. Unfortunately, they are only found on the East Coast, south of New Jersey. The first Cluck U was established in New Brunswick, New Jersey (near Rutgers) and they've migrated south from there. A favorite with students at UMD.

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