Actually, your 'manhood' has been used as a weapon by several fighting groups worldwide. Most recently, the war in former Yugoslavia showed the effectivness of rape as a weapon. It subdues the women of the enemy, takes away their pride, might possibly water down their ethnical purity and otherwise works to destroy the morale of the opponents.
Once again, mankind has outdone itself in ways to be evil.

Men have been using "their manhood" as weapons for centuries. The jockeying for first place, squabbling over "the best" females, and all manner of idiocy to lend an air of dominance. While men haven't quite mastered How to use masculinity as an emotional weapon to the honed edge of females, they make due with more mundane concepts. Although they might learn something from the experts (How to use your womanhood as a weapon/ How to use your femininity as a weapon).

So apart from the grunting and carrying on like an idiot you can, in fact, use your manhood as a weapon in other ways. Provided the term, "weapon" is used loosely (like your sexual partners).

Required:


I'd advise some form of penial disease avoidance insurance, though given your "callous, haughty attitude towards sex," this is a futile gesture on my part. Given that, a remote camera might also be in order. An escape route is always handy. Remember the more elaborate the plan, the better!

Assemble these, as best you can, and complete at least one sex act. After achieving orgasm, preferably either through oral or other orifice penetration, use your now partially flaccid penis (or flexible doppelgänger) to firmly strike the nearest fleshy bit available (don't hit yourself!). Facial and gluteal cheeks work nicely. Feel free to use inner thighs, stomachs, breasts, and the flesh above the external obliques where appropriate. Use your imagination here, especially if you're on camera. If you've done your job right, you'll leave a nice red mark (or other outline) known as a Mushroom tattoo.

Now, pose triumphantly knowing you have succeeded! And capture that moment quickly, as this is also the point where you may wish to exit striking distance.



While I cannot deny this is a silly and callous act, much like the Cleveland steamer, it is modestly likely to not be entirely fictional (re: Donkey Punch, Dirty Sanchez). Anecdotes are relatively useless as a form of persuasion, however, about a year ago a friend of mine with a callous and haughty attitude towards sex suggested (in the presence of his girlfriend) that I give mine a Mushroom tattoo. Naturally I asked what the hell that was, she then explained it to me in an angry tone. At that point he countered, "You know you liked it." Argument ensues. There are some pretty fucked up people in this world, who will do just about anything for unfathomable reasons. That being said, it probably doesn't really hurt the receiver as much as the dispenser. The relative sensitivity of penis vs. cheek is rather extreme.

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