Occasionally funny standup comedian
who does the Zany Report on The Bob and Tom Show
. He has a website
I saw him live once. He was pretty funny that night, and he told one joke I'll never forget. He set it up early in the set by mentioning his Mom's pet name for him, "Big Dick". That got a couple of laughs but later in a deadpan delivery he called it back like this...
"You know my Mom wasn't all bad though. In fact she gave me one piece of advice I'll never forget. She said to me, 'Big Dick, put down the gun.' God I love that woman. She'd know that if I hadn't shot her."
I use that line whenever someone says anything, whenever anyone says something like, "If there's one thing I can tell ya." My response is, "What, put down the gun? Let the cat out of the freezer? Quit peeing on the electric fence?"
I can be a sarcastic asshole sometimes.