Bob Hawke is a top Aussie. He was in politics and got to be Prime Minister of Australia, which is like being the Queen's assistant. However, he is not famous for this achievement. The reason he is famous is because he was a champion beer drinker when he was young. In 1952 he won a beer skolling competition at the University of Western Australia by skolling three schooners in 9.3 seconds. Then in 1954 at Oxford he got a Guinness Book World Record for skolling 2.5 pints in 12 seconds. After he finished pissing up at uni he became President of the Australian Council of Trade Unions. He won heaps of wage cases and Aussies loved him because they got more money to spend on piss. Bob had to be chauffered around lots because half the time he was too pissed to drive. After he finished pissing up at the ACTU, he entered politics and ran the country for a while. Bob is Australia's favourite politician and a pisstank and he is a top Aussie.

The contents of this writeup written by Grant(Nosedog) and can be found in its original form at Permission gained from Grant on 20 November, 2000 to reproduce the text on everything2. Many thanks

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