"Aquí no hay quien viva" is a sitcom that airs Wednesday nights on the Antena 3 network in Spain. It chronicles the (mis)adventures of the tennants of a fictional apartment building in Madrid. The show's appeal comes mostly from its large cast of characters, and the whacky situations that they find themselves in. The show's catch phrases have also become well known in Spain.

The title's literal translation to English would be "here there is no one who may live", which sounds a bit awkward because modern English lacks a concise morphological way of marking the subjunctive mood.

Principal characters include:

  • Los Delgado
    • Emilio Delgado – The building's portero, or porter/janitor/custodian/caretaker. Sarcastic, not very well educated. Catch phrases include "un poquito de por favor, ¿eh?" and "apaguen sus teléfonos móviles y no fumen" Tried to attend university for a short time, but all he ended up doing was sleeping with his professor. Speaks in an Andalusian accent.
    • Mariano Delgado – Emilio's father. Frequently does comically fiendish things, for example, in one episode he goes into an expensive restaurant posed as a waiter in order to steal their food. A very comically twisted man, frequently expresses strange views on life and on women. For a time he introduces himself as a metrosexual. One of his catch phrases is "ignorante de la vida", said in the second person to call people ignorant.
  • Los Cuesta
    • Juan Cuesta – A high school teacher by profession. The kind of guy who thinks he's in charge but isn't. Tends to have an idealized view of the building and of his authority. For the first 3 seasons, Juan is "president" of the community and presides over its meetings and affairs. During this period he is very eager to introduce himself as "Juan Cuesta, presidente de la communidad". But the other tennants do not respect him, and he is not above getting involved with questionable affairs during his presidency. Also, quite frequently, some degree of cowardace is shown on his part. During the fourth season, he decides that maybe he doesn't want to be president, and tries to find an artistic hobby to take its place.
    • Isabel (La Hierbas) – A hippy lady, called la Hierbas (the herb-girl) by the other tennants. Moved in with her husband Andrés during the second season, but ended up having an affair with Juan Cuesta, who is now her stable boyfriend.
    • Paloma Hurtado – Juan's bossy wife. Was put in a coma by Isabel, twice, both times by accident. Does not appear after the second season.
    • José Miguel "Josemi" Cuesta – Juan's son, in his early teens. Bright kid, but doesn't apply himself. Instead, hangs out in the video store with some of the older guys.
    • Natalia Cuesta – Juan's daughter, in her early 20s. Gave her parents a bit of anguish, since she has had many boyfriends and never does what she's told. Currently pregnant by artificial insemination, which she was doing for a couple who couldn't have kids on their own. Works for Fernando.
  • Las jubiladas (the retired ladies)
    • María Isabel (Marisa) – A wild woman even at her age, Marisa is usually seen with a cigarette and a bottle of liquor. Her husband, Manolo, left her a long time ago, but it really bothers Vicenta (more on her soon) more than anyone else. Her catch-phrase us "¡que mona va esta chica siempre!" (how cute this girl always is!), referring to Lucía.
    • Vicenta – Marisa's sister, a virgin well into her 70s, Vicenta is a very naive woman still convinced that one day she will find a husband.
    • Concha – A widow, and a generally bitter and angry woman. Likes to call "¡chorizo!" at Juan (calling him a theif – the word chorizo in this context comes from a Caló verb meaning "to steal"; it does not refer to the sausage also called chorizo).
  • Los gays (yes, that is the real colloquial word for gay in Spanish)
    • Mauricio "Mauri" Hidalgo – A gay journalist. Finds himself in a lot of bizzarre situations, mostly because he is too selfish and paranoid for his own good.
    • Fernando – Mauri's boyfriend, a lawyer. Frequently represents the other tennants.
    • Bea – A lesbian and former roommate of Mauri. She is a veterinarian. Since Mauri and Bea find themselves in the position of wanting to have kids but being gay, they decide to go through artificial insemination together, and have a son named Ezequiel.
  • La pija y sus varios (ex-)novios (the snooty woman and her various (ex-)boyfriends)
    • Lucía Álvarez – Called "la pija" (the snoot) by other tennants, Lucía gets by on her father's money. She's had lots of boyfriends on the series and comic fights between them result.
    • Roberto – An arquitect and artist. Was initially Lucía's fiance. Now he lives with Carlos.
    • Carlos – According to Mariano, Carlos is perfect to join a cult: "un imbécil con dinero" (an imbecile with money). Carlos is a childhood friend and brief boyfriend of Lucía. He comes from a rich family and has lots of money at his disposal, but frequently proves to be naive, gulliable, and very desperate.
    • Yago – Lucía's current boyfriend, a Cuban immigrant (whom the neighbors assume is illegal) and political radical, very much opposed to corporatism and very much the environmentalist. This is in conflict with Lucía's rich CEO father, Don Rafael.
  • Belén López – A woman in her thirties without much luck with men or vocation. Has had an on-and-off relationship with Emilio.
  • Paco – The clerk of the building's video store. Obsessed with film.

In addition to this vast array of characters (of which the above list is only a small part), there are some regular scenes and events, such as the community meetings (or juntas), or scenes where the guys (Emilio, Roberto, Paco, Josemi) sit around and drink beer in the video store, exchanging stories about the events of the day.

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