In Douglas Adams' Infocom Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy text game, advanced tea substitute (ATS) is a substance created by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat machine in the galley of the spaceship Heart of Gold for use as a good source of Brownian motion (though not as good as a nice, fresh cup of really hot tea) into which to plop the long, dangly bit of the atomic vector plotter.
>examine advanced tea substitute
About the only characteristic it shares with tea is that of Brownian motion.
Drinking of this vile fluid permanently deducts 30 points from your final score.
>drink ats
It tastes almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. It's absolutely disgusting. The cup itself vaporises, part of the Galactic Anti-Litter Program. The Nutrimat says "Share and Enjoy."

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