(With apologies to [Jethro Tull])

Standing in a store aisle
Scanning bottles with [jaundiced] eye
Thirst's gumming up your throat
But spending cash on water gets your goat
Hey [Aqualung|Aquafina]!

You see it's made by [Pepsico];
[Corporate America] always gets you low.
Hey [Aqualung|Aquafina]!
Your sister [rumor|said] they're draining [Thailand]
making filters from old socks and sand.
Hey [Aqualung|Aquafina]!

But you're feeling so [thirsty],
so you bend to grab a bottle
you find it's cool and tempting
in your hand.

The plastic label's blue like [honesty]
and the text is quite impressive:
local waters put through HydRO-7 purification
sounds like the best in all the land.

Low in salt, [chloride], metals,
it's treated with [activated charcoal|active carbon],
[reverse osmosis] and [ultraviolet],
this water's sounding grand!
Hey [Aqualung|Aquafina]!

Aquafina (thing)