This will happen to you if you work on computers all day:
1. Susceptibility to
conjunctivitis.
Computer users tend to blink less when at their terminals allowing
bacteria to fester longer on the cornea. Expect more frequent bouts of gooky eye.
2. RSI/Arthritis: As you clutch your mouse for 8 hours at a time with your hand fixed in an 'unatural stress position' like some frozen albino crab, you can expect the onset of
RSI (
Repetetive Strain Injury). This will result in hand, wrist and forearm pain and possibly some degree of nausea. After a number of years this should develop into a debilitating
arthritis.
3.
Hunchback development. Your posture will be ruined by years spent slumped in a badly designed chair, craning your neck to read microscopic type. You should loose about an inch in height every 7 years.
4. Eye rot. Your eyes will begin to react to the constant glare emitted from your
monitor and will turn milky white as a counter-measure in an attempt to filter out the luminescent harshness. Aswell as this expect a general lowering in the quality of vision in later years as your iris becomes accustomed to focusing at about 12 inches only. Avoid driving within 8 minutes of computer use.
5. Wide arse development. 8 hours a day, 7 days a week not exercising, but placing most of our weight on your love cushions results in a kind of 'arse-flange action' . Your butt can't grow down through the chair so it grows outwards instead. You will quickly learn never to stand 'front-on' in photographs.
6. Expect rapid
hair loss at the front of the head and body as a side effect of
Monitor Radiation. This includes eyebrows and eyelashes. Note: Will not affect hair at the back of the head.