Safeguarding a mailbox

This tactic was once used very succesfully by an old friend of mine who used to have his mailbox victimized semi-regularly.

The first step is to buy two mailboxes, one being the biggest that you can find, the other being nearly the smallest.
Buy a bag of cement at the same time.
Mix some cement, and fill the large mailbox about halfway. While it is still wet (read: immediately) place the small mailbox directly centered inside of the cement filled large mailbox.
Fill the larger mailbox with more cement, leaving just enough room to make sure that the smaller concealed mailbox still has enough room to open and close.

When the double mailbox/cement contraption has set, put up a sturdy mailbox post and place the entire thing out in front of your house.
The Mailman will still be able to deliver mail to you (by opening first the large, then the small mailbox doors). However, the first time some little punk tries to smash it with a baseball bat he'll be lucky if he doesn't break his arm.

First, you need lists of the stuff you wanna use

Materials

• angle iron (enough for the outer construction of mailfortress)
• 2 or 3 big pieces of 4mm sheetmetal
• roll of barbed wire
• heavy duty galvanised gate hinge
• 1 tin of metal primer
• 1 tin of paint suitable for metal (your choice of colour, perhaps multicolour?)
• 1 large box of welding rods
• many spare cutoff and grinding wheels
• galvanised hasp & staple
• giant badass padlock
• bag of cement
• bigass steel pole, height to suit

Tools

• Welder
• Angle Grinder
• Hammer
• Paintbrush
• Wire Cutters
• Welding Goggles
• Shovel
• Wheelbarrow (For mixing the cement in)

Building the Beast

Building this is rather simple, you take your plan (you DO have a plan don't you?!?) and cut the angle iron out for the frame and door. Measure and cut the sheetmetal for the sides, top, back, and door. Weld the frame together so that it is solid like a rock. Use some sandpaper and give the frame a quick onceover. Paint primer onto the frame (don't paint the outside, as you'll need to weld on the panels). Let dry.

Ok, now you need to get your pieces of sheetmetal and weld them to the outside of the frame (remember to put a slot into the front piece for the mail!). Use lots of weld, remember, you're making a mail fortress.

Cut up the remaining angle and weld it into a door shape, slap on some sheetmetal. Weld.

Ok, now, you need to weld the hinge onto the top of your completed frame, then over onto your door. Try and make it fit reasonably well. Weld the hasp onto the underside of the frame, and the staple onto the door.

Weld two pieces of angle onto the bottom of the mailbox the same width apart as your pipe. Set the mailbox onto the pipe and weld the two pieces of angle onto the pipe. Weld up underneath where the pipe meets the bottom of your creation.

Sand the whole structure lightly, then coat with primer. After the primer has dried, paint with your choice of colours.

Now take the whole shebang outside and cement it into the hole you prepared earlier, making sure to keep the structure level and straight (unless you want it leaning over).

The final step in the construction phase is to wrap barbed wire all over it so no birds can sit on it, or people try and grab it (use gloves so you don't cut yourself).

There you have it, one utterly cool mailbox that no mofo is going to touch. Totally safeguarded.