Dream Log: December 20, 2002

I never dream. Why does this seem surreal?

5 100 1 Wittenberg, M. (Martin)
6 245 10 Predatory equilibria : systematic theft and its effects on output, inequality and long run growth / by Martin Wittenberg.
7 260 Johannesburg : Econometric Research Southern Africa, 2000.

Last night this morning vivid extrasensory dreams. I have been having these every morning lately. Wake up at the alarm fall back into your dream over and over. All kinds of kinds of dreams.

Last night this morning it was about our friends Tim and Carrie, specifically Carrie but also Tim. We all lived in a tall apartment, with these tall walls and I'm not sure how exactly this happened. The kind of tall walls you think are hospital green. That tone. There was something involving staying up late, and Tim was gone off somewhere in the car for the night. Not his actual car since for one thing he has no car just now. A big SUV, a grey one I think. But he was off away. And John and Carrie and I were in the apt. There may have been other people but they all gradually left, and in the very late three area Carrie went off to her room. The whole building was tall like that, and grey, with tall grey hallways and vague industrial undertones. We were in a city. It was a very tall building and you went up the narrow hallway and in the door.

It was some specific time like 3:47. And Carrie went back to her room, and even later later that night John found her. Her throat had been slit and her body dismembered. It was so late and there were clouds over everyone. No one knew how what had happened. It was still all grey and green.

In the morning I was walking out with Tim, who had come home, and we were talking and going down Main Street in the adult district as those who know Ann Arbor will recognize. The stainless steel district that reminds you of high quality kitchen equipment and has several many-storied banks. We could not understand what had happened although I had seen her myself. In fact she was out walking with us and not quite aware of things herself. All half talking in a general what happened direction. We got to one of the big banks, in the wall of which there was an ATM Tim needed. It was grey outside there as well. Then I got to the ATM and requested my information. It told me the real story in a newspaper article on its little screen, but didn't really solve anything. I said as much out loud, and when I turned, Carrie had disappeared. She understood it, then. Tim and I were even more dislocated, or differently located. We walked further up the street.

Carrie wears soft makeup and sweaters in colors like pink against our blue-grey drab. Tim wears sharply ironed shirts, and sells wine to fancy restaurants. They are classy hosts. Their living room is done in purple and orange, with hand-done beaded tassels.

I woke up in the dark and told John. He petted my hair and said ssh it is all ok, and we went back to sleep until the next alarm.

First I was on a sort of train, but it was going to take its passengers into space. This was not an odd thing because apparently space was occupied by lots of other species as well as humans, and our train was just one of many that was leaving the planet to escape collision with an impending asteroid. We weren't really sure where we were going to go, though, and for some reason the dream skipped again and I was back on Earth, knowing that I'd somehow lost my spot on the train.

I had lots of stuff with me, I'd had to leave my home and the world was on hold for a few days, wondering if we were actually going to get hit by the asteroid and where it was going to land. I was with some guy in the wilderness and all my personal items were piled in this very large trailer as if I'd just been riding in it. People were in various states of apocalyptic panic, but many of us were just accepting it for what it was and trying to make the best of it, hoping we weren't going to die. The guy I was with was annoyed at me because he wanted to trek on to the place we were planning to hide out, but I'd brought too much stuff and didn't want to leave any of it behind because I felt I'd lost too much already.

I was kind of miserable about the whole thing because I just wanted the crisis to blow over like everything else, but it seemed it wasn't going to. I was packing a small bag of "necessities," so we could move on, and I was wondering whether we would get hit, wondering if it would make a difference if I changed my religion. I wondered if the asteroid wouldn't hit us if I promised to accept Jesus, which was something suggested to me before. I thought about it and glumly accepted that it might work to divert the asteroid and then pray to Jesus, but then I realized the whole concept was foreign to my brain and I didn't know how to do that, and didn't really want to, and couldn't think of how I'd continue such a path if we really did survive.

Then we found out that the asteroid was probably going to land in a certain spot in the Middle East, but there was this horrible sentiment of "good, those bastards deserve it." There was a good chance, however, that it might kill everyone on the planet, so we still had to brace for impact. I picked up my bag of necessities and followed my companion around the corner and there was this tiny concrete-floored room where we were supposed to be staying, because we couldn't go any farther because some bridge was out. I was worried about those who went to space because if we survived, they still might not, and if we got a near miss with the asteroid they'd have all died for nothing.

I met some girl wearing four plastic Sailor Moon rings. For some reason this was extremely exciting to me in the dream.

I think I'm reading too much of the Remnants series.