, while considered cool
by most people, seem to lack significance
in the world today. Nothing could be further from the truth
! Only by sharing this knowledge
can we dampen the coming onslaught when they inevitable reveal themself to take their rightful place as world leaders.
All the facts are publically available, check the writeup Viking for the basics. I will summarize the important points here.
Starting at home.
Vikings rule Scandinavia
) and also Iceland
and of course Finland
. While Finland isn't one of the original viking countries, it was conquered
by Swedish Vikings about 1000 years ago. While the Swedes didn't call themself Vikings at this point and invaded Finland to spread Christianity
, this was clearly a cover up
. So all of the Nordic
countries are Viking. Also, Greenland
is naturally Viking since it's ruled by the Danes
At the time between AD 500 and AD 800 the rulers of England
were weak, a fact that the Vikings used to their advantage. A constant merciless raiding
of most of continental Europe
forced the French king
to give the Vikings the piece of land called Normandy
. This is where the Normans
originated. The same Normans that were the basis for the European knight
, which amongst other things conquered Jerusalem
and started the Knights Templars
(and as we all know, the Templars still control basically everything
Meanwhile other vikings conquered England
, extending the Danelaw
all the way to Wales
. So when William the Conqueror conquered
England it was mostly an internal family feud amongst the Vikings.
At this point, ca AD 1100, all of northern Europe, England and most of continental Europe was in fact controlled by Vikings.
Some Vikings used cunning manipulation
to conquer instead of brute force
. The prime example would be destabilization of the area now known as Russia
. After a lot of raiding some monks actually asked a couple of Vikings to take control of the land. These Vikings were of the tribe rus, from the area now called Roslagen
in Sweden. So Russia is really a Swedish colony. Meanwhile another Viking, Leif Eriksson
, discovered America
, quite a few years before that other guy
. So America is by rights Viking and nothing else (they'll be back any year now to reclaim it).
Yet other Vikings travelled south to Constantinople
and started an elite force, the Varangian guard
. So it's safe to assume that this elite force soon had their fingers in everything that mattered and thereby controlled the entire Byzantine Empire
. This of course included all of the mid-east (and as we all know, the Normans already conquered Jerusalem).
Finishing it up
So to sum it all up, the only parts the Vikings avoided were Eastern Asia
, Southern America
. Probably because these places are too damned hot, something REAL Vikings are not fond of. Real Vikings
like it when they have to beat the water into small pieces before bathing in it.
Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!