In the town where I live, we have a unique and growing problem. The problem is flower bandits. These unknown people creep into unflowered areas in the dead of night and plant flowers there. So far, as close as I can tell, two schools, a ballfield, an empty lot, a roadside, and a barren place in a local park have been struck by these sly petal pushers.

The word on the street is that these dastardly deeds may be perpetuated by a mother and her son. Rumor has it that one day the son noticed that an area in the center of his school was san-blossoms. He pointed out this fact to his ever scheming mother, who proposed that they sneak into the school yard under cover of darkness and fill the dull spot with color. Thus were born the dreaded flower bandits.

This story gets worse, however. The mother, having loose lips as these criminal types often do, bragged of her misdeeds to a friend, who determined that she and HER son should form their own band of color spreading outlaws. It seems that now a wave of this type of crime is hitting our small town, with unauthorized plantings literally cropping up all across town. When will this wave of terror stop?

If you have any information which can lead to the capture of these notorious nectar spreaders, please contact your local police. I'm sure they care.

Note: I have no personal knowledge of these crimes. Everything I know was told to me by a friend of a friend who's name I have forgotten.