I'm Pregnant!!!!
Yup...the blue line appeared in the square box. No doubt about it...I've got a bun in the oven, I'm in a delicate condition, I'm having a baby! Is this all good? Ha! When it is ever? But being pregnant is perhaps my favorite state of being. And I love being a mom, so this is a good thing.
I'm a bit worried though. I've had more miscarriages than succuessful pregnancies. I'm not very plagued with morning sickness yet, and that has meant a miscarriage in the past. All I can do is wait..and take care of myself in case this kid decides to tough it out.
Fetal development....This kid is about 6 weeks along right now. That means that what I'm calling a kid is actually about the size of a grain of rice. Arms and legs are developing, but no fingers or toes quite yet. The brain is developing, and there are nostrils, intestines, the beginnings of lungs, and some miscellaneous organs.
I'm feeling...hmmm....worried, happy, pissed off, excited. This was NOT a planned event. I have two kids already..they're 7 and 9. I was pretty glad to be out of the diaper changing/toddler phase. But damn it's cool to have a baby around. And being pregnant is such a blessed way to be. I always worry, however about if the baby will be ok. Somehow over the past few years, those worries have subsided. I don't fear having a child who is handicapped anymore.
Maybe that's because I've been in contact with my ex, who has a boy with Downs Syndrome. This guy is an incredible man. I'd read somewhere once that often parents who have kids who have Downs come to feel that their child is a gift, and that these kids are usually born to special people. Somehow I always knew he'd have a special child. And somehow I know that if this kids survives, it will be special no matter if it's "normal" or not.
And God says Ha!