As Dane observed, grilling season was here last week but I was unarmed. The weather was beautiful, and I was outfitted with bottles of savory juices but no meat. I had plenty of ammo but no guns. A pile of ordinance but no cannons. Lots of bomb belts but no eager teenagers dying to be martyrs.

So I bought a large sack of assorted chicken parts frozen in a solution of not less than 10% magnesium salts and frost. This was with the hope of eventually soaking the assorted parts in Caribbean Jerk marinade, which has the delightful tastes of fresh papaya and Jamaican oppression. I find it fitting that my favorite meat soaks are something called 'jerk', and I have started a fine collection of various jerk sauces in anticipation of a lovely charcoal spring.

Charcoal spring is gone. Grilling season is over. Cold is here, snow is now. Right now the giant vacuum could descend space and steal our atmosphere and no one would complain. Go ahead, take our foul weather! May it bring you a frosty death!