friday, friday. I feel like I haven't done anything all week, and indeed many things I have not.

I'm still exercising. It's good. I'm drinking 8+ cups of water a day and starting to learn the guitar and to record my singing. It's good. I'm attending a singing workshop all weekend. I'm kind of dreading it - not because I don't want to go, I do, it sounds great and the woman who runs it is supposed to be fabulous to sing with - but 'cause it takes up the whole weekend and I can't see my boy very much. We're SO codependent.

I'm sleepy. Ohhhh.

I wish our lead would return to choir. Everyone in my section treats me like I'm the substitute lead, and while I'm happy to help if I can, it's very stressful to feel like it's my responsibility. I mean, I only joined the choir last year. Feeling like I'm a competent singer, like I'm a more competent singer than most people even in the choir (..?), is a very strange feeling still. In choir in highschool I still hadn't found my singing voice and I was in a small section that was lost a lot. Then last year I joined this choir and I found to my delight that my worries that I wouldn't be good enough were unfounded, that I was a good singer, that I had a singing voice all along.. it's a wonderful feeling. Unh, but I want to spend my time singing, not giving pep talks to our terminally self-denigrating alto section. They can all sing well enough, but are mostly convinced that they can't sing at all without the lead. Now whenever we do sing things well, they blame it on me instead. STOP THANKING ME! I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! YOU WERE JUST SINGING TOO! AHHHHHH! The combination of this worrying and the beauty of the music made me almost cry last night as we were going through the first movement of the Rutter's Requiem. (It is beautiful. I love the first bit. All those weird crunches and the latin. Mmm.) I'll pretend it's the barometric pressure.