..you try to scream and it only comes out as a yawn..

I should be working right now, but I can't manage to wrap my head around it, not after having been touched. It didn't hit me until a few minutes ago how unique we really have it here. I had more arguments with Herm than I care to remember, and called him a drunken wino on every available opportunity. Still, I'd like to think that I was pretty close to him, at least on #e, and though I'm sure he wouldn't say so I think we understood each other.

I'm bothered now because his passing has affected me more then the deaths of people I know in the real world, and I sort of feel bad, like I'm taking without giving or something.

..when you try to see the world beyond your front door..

But then I realize that there is more to people than form and moving, or in our cases, electrons and packets. People are not people by virtue, but are formed through the actions they accomplish and the thoughts they provoke in others. Friends are friends no matter what medium they come to you on.

And I'm not sure why I'm sad now. Surely I can't be sad for him because the unconquerable Christian inside me knows without a shadow that he's reaping a heavenly reward somewhere. And I can't be sad for us, because we were given a glimpse of one of the deepest people around, and we should be immeasurably thankful for the time we had. If I had to say why, I would say I'm most sad for his kids; I know he loved them dearly, and they will have to live the rest of their lives without him, and that is something no one should have to endure.

So I guess this has turned into a signoff of sorts to a departed and dear friend. I know you're not coming back, but we'll always have Paris.. you lush.

..please, God, tell me that I'm still asleep.