The Professor's Book (thing)

Everytime the writers needed to conjure up an explanation for some zany phenomenon, or the reasoning behind yet another invention that was created out of coconuts and wood, the Professor would conveniently whip out a thick book and recite some Hollywood technobabble from it.

This is a really cool book. Cure for radiation sickness? Check The Professor's Book! Need an entire chemist's set of laboratory tools with nothing but coconuts and twine at your disposal? Page 214 of The Professor's Book, my man!

Can I buy this book some time? Are there copies available online? Really, The Professor should give up his teaching job and go into publishing. That one book could save humanity thousands upon thousands of manyears spent studying science.

But wait, there's more to this incredible artifice! First, note that The Professor always can come up with an explanation or solution within seconds of reading. This implies that either The Professor can read incredibly fast, or, the more likely scenario, that the book contains all this scientific knowledge in ultra-dense compressed chunks.

Second, and even more dumb-founding is that The Professor always has his book opened smack-dab in the middle. Never, ever, is he reading the first or last few pages. No, it's always the middle. Infact, I'd bet he never even had to turn the page, all of known science has been compressed to a meager two pages. This, of course, begs the question as to what the other 800 some-odd pages of this supernatural tome contain. The meaning of life? Maybe. After all, no matter what, The Professor always seemed to keep his cool and be at peace with the universe.

There was, however, one glaring flaw in this otherwise incredible repository of human knowledge. For all its reams of scientific data, it never did tell The Professor how to build a boat.