Like any good voter, I went to my local library to get a Voter Information Bulletin to find out more about the local candidates for office. The League of Women Voters publishes the one I grabbed. The premise is simple: they contact each candidate with two questions and the candidates send in their responses. They are published without editing for spelling, grammar or content. The whole thing was fairly predictable until I found this:


Robert A Martin, Independent (write-in)
3080 Allegheny rd, Apt C, Columbus OH 43209
Email: none given
Website: none given
Education: Am over 60 years old and presently taking a course called Basic Drawing at OSU – Main Campus, summer 04. Like illustrating churches on Sunday.
Occupation: On my US, IRS income taxes 1040, I like to put that I am a insulation designer.
Qualifications for Office: Previous candidate for 4 other public offices resently. Around the World 2001 (over word limit)

Question 1: What do you see as the most important responsibility of the office you are seeking and how do you plan to meet it? (100 word limit)

Answer: No response given

Question 2: Please describe the duties of the office you are seeking. (100 word limit)

Answer: Get and distribute marriage and related data. Prepare children as soon as possible to run for this office. Promote art work. Put in gym for department. Offer written testing. Offer monitary rewards for suggestions. Be in the offices 5-6 day a week 24 hours a day. Carry cameras and tape recorders on your persons. Go to different churches each Sunday for comments and suggestions. Have a small gym in my office. Make sure people such as janitors are happy.