Little Miss Chastity Pants, you vex me so, how shall I frame you?

And you, dear cervix? Will you be all right once they have scooped you out? Will you come back healthy, so I can be free of this prodding? This wondering how you are doing microscopically? Because if you are trying to tell me something, I hear ya sister. Another place with lips trying to get me into trouble. Just spit it out already.

And you actual sister? How is the move why are you silent what do you think of this?

Argh. I am turning into some kinda pirate. I hop on board and … and what? Slash things? Hoard the gold? Brake my teeth on imported beer bottles?

No. I am turning into a smarmy, all prude with sensible shoes, a navy blue pleather purse full of Freedent and sugar packets, a pocket raincoat, some orange lipstick. Toothpicks, some frilly. A bingo chip, support gear, menthol. A heavy broach pulling at the rayon of my collar, my waddle tucked in, (my bun has a pin), Your whole way is a sin, dear.

No wait. I am nervous and budding, sparkles in lip gloss, overlapping fruit scents, aware there is freedom and I don’t quite have it. Kind of leggy, dishwater blond, thirteen and a half, with well-studied poses, frozen hair, cosmetically altered skin in now shades. I smell of Loves Baby Soft. I have a pen with three hot colors, a book I doodled on. Senseless shoes make me wince but they go with my outfit, which gives me a power I don’t really understand.

I am seven and fierce. Shaggy hair tangled by the swing set, scuffed elbows, knee freckles, sharp shoulder blades and teeth that are too big for my mouth. Don’t tell me not to be scared, I could fly if I ran fast enough and whirled my legs like a Snoopy dance. I sucked all the cinnamon hot outta the toothpicks without getting a glass of water, do you want to see a gross thing about my scab?

I am slinking across a plush rug, body twirled in silk, hair mussed in a just right fashion. Spikes strapped to each heel make it hard for me to get away, so I just crawl around on the ground, come-hither. I’ll take hold of your tie, lead you around, throw you down and suck out all the juice. I live to sigh at just the right moment

I am I am and I am. What the hell else is there to do?