Editor's note: This is dangerous. Do not try this

a very simple recipe for some di-ethyl ether:

1. purchase some starter fluid at your local Auto Barn. make sure it contains di-ethyl ether and petroleum distillates only.

2. spray all the fluid into a ziploc bag.

3. add an equal amount of clean, preferably filtered water to the bag.

4. seal bag and shake vigorously for five minutes.

5. allow your concoction to settle and seperate. this happens pretty quickly.

6. the water will have settled to the bottom, along with the petroleum distillates contained in the starter fluid.

7. snip a tiny hole in the corner of the bag, allowing the water layer to drain out.

8. once the water layer is completely gone, begin draining the di-ethyl ether layer into a cup or similar storage device.

9. for the anal retentive: add more water and repeat the purification process if you feel you may not have removed all the petroleum distillates.

10. store your ether in an amber-colored or darker glass bottle which can seal tightly. i find a boiled-out vanilla extract bottle works great.

11. to use, pour desired amount onto a rag. place rag over face and take deep breaths.

12. stumble around all stupid-like.

as far as i know, there's not much documentation of ether or its synthesis anywhere on the web. this is how i was taught to make it. suggestions and corrections are more than welcome.

warning: inhaling any fumes is inherently dangerous and i make no guarantee that you won't die from this. use your better judgment before trying this out. practice moderation in everything.