i don't know what to think you're thinking. i ask you if you're happy with the choice you've made. "yes... i don't know," you respond, "can we talk about this later?"

and last night, when we were on the phone, you being yourself and me imitating what i think a normal me sounds like, you said, "i miss you" with that tone in your voice that made it sound really convincing. i half-chuckled, half-sobbed, and sputtered, "ohh, i miss you, too".

why? why say you miss me? don't you know i'm floating out here by myself, and i'll grab onto anything to keep my hope for us from sinking away.

so now we'll be talking, face to face, in about 2 hours. what will happen? will "we" be saved? somehow, i don't see it happening. i can only see our love falling away.