Okay, here's the deal.
A LOT HAS CHANGED.
Other than the outside, mainly my cutting off all my hair, dying it red and dropping 25 lbs.....heh. The world may actually get to see me at 130 lbs.( Does anyone have the Irish stone
equivalent to 130 lbs? I've forgotten my conversions over the years.) Just call me Spike
!( But no, I am not pregnant
....) When the going gets tough, the tough reinvent
. Oh yeah, and I haven't forgotten about the world catching on fire, so I don't think the changes rest with me. No shit, right?
I, um....well...I'm fuckin' happy! Like content type of happy. I can't even remember how long it's been since that's happened. I really don't quite know what to do with myself, honestly, besides continue cleaning up the messes of the last four years. That has definitely (still really hate trying to spell that word) kept me busy. Do you have any idea how many apology letters I have been sending out, trying to make ammends with the people I have stepped on over the last few years? Yeah, sure I could just let it slide, and yeah, a few can of worms have been opened wide up.....but I am tired of feeling guilty! Anything is better than that, and quite frankly, it's been a pretty enjoyable experience touching base with people I certainly have never forgotten. Can we say 'Digo's soul feels pretty damn clean? Yup.
With the last few years being so scary, and so on fast-forward, I am really diggin' just being a Florida swamp kid for right now. I mean, all of my old buddies are back....and for once, we're all drinking age....Biketoberfest is this weekend, there are cat-eating alligators in my backyard....I've exorcised the guest house. Yup. That little house with so damn much bad energy, the one that would make that "Wwwwaaaaawwwwawwwwawwwaaaa" noise as soon as I'd open the french doors....it's happy again. Warm, cozy, full of music and light. It's my getaway from the past instead of a forebearer or reminder of it. I burned sage in every corner of the building to wipe out the stench of the past. It worked. I sip my Dewar's over ice, smoke my stogies and write and paint like there ain't no tomorrow. Hmmmm. Who knows? There MIGHT not be. Regardless, I have my cave again.
I'd be content just for the fact that everything's straightening itself out. No. I'm not just being optimistic, it really is working it's kinks out. I am HAPPY for a really big reason, though. And it would sound really mushy and icky if I were to voice that reason aloud. So maybe I won't. Regardless of what's happened, why I'm on cloud nine, I still have to keep on track, 'cause I go off to University next summer. Maybe this time, I won't be going alone. Hee!
Okay, tell me if this is for real or just fairytale? No, wait. I don't feel like sharing just quite yet. Maybe tomorrow....or maybe not. All I can say is I will have one hell of a story to tell, and it is going to take a while. Hmmmm....forgiveness is a really beautiful thing.
Man, I have a lot of phone calls to make.....