No, Jake, the authorities did not find the crack rock in my car. That is NOT the reason my lisense was suspended, but thanks for all your confidence in me. Shut up before I make all the teeth in your head look funny, bitch.

On the contrary it was a ticket that I received in October after I was leaving your, beautiful....historic, however fucked up state. Fascists! I paid it late, and one group of commies got together with my state's commies and they decided I couldn't have my wings anymore. Since February...thanks so much for dropping me a note, guys. So my plans have been delayed.

I get that beautiful piece of plastic back tomorrow morning, and then perhaps I'll ask for a coupla days more off. I want Snow, goddamnit.

BUT at least my car will finally say 'JUN' instead of 'FEB', 'cause you see Florida is the only state I know of whose registry decals tell the birthday month of the person who owns the car. It's great, I keep myself awake driving I-4 by going, "Hey. It says 'AUG'. Now is that a leo or a virgo? Navy blue...that's Virgo....but it's a Lexus, that screams LEO..." Fun game. Gets me throught the traffic near Disney. RAT BASTARDS!...literally.