If you have a penis, this is important information! (idea)

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a Penis(tm)!

• For recreational use only.
• Limit one per customer. Reproduction strictly prohibited.
• Use as intended. Penis should not be used as a replacement for brain.
• Do not leave in direct sunlight, enclosed vehicle, or exposed to extreme temperatures.
• Misuse or careless use may cause serious injury or death.
• Not recommended for use by persons with heart conditions or chronic respiratory problems.
• Do not operate while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
• May be too intense for some viewers.
• Slippery when wet.
• Keep out of reach of children.
• Warning: Pastry filling may be hot when heated.
• Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and/or inhaling contents may be fatal, or it may be a lot of fun.
• Maximum daily output should not exceed three (3) uses per day.
• Penis may appear larger in mirror.
• Most of all, our sexy service technicians ("women") stressed: We reserve the right to refuse service.