You see, that's the unholy trinity of our existence. Next to what He can do, your little threats of commitment to a mental institution or jail or death are ineffective slaps in the face. (Darn, I've let the saliva dry on my chin. I've got to remember to drool more.) HE promised us adventure, promised to take us away from our mundane lives as bankers, brokers, data-entry clerks. We trained as pilots, assasins, medical doctors, firearms experts, low-grade clairvoyants (who were you with last night, copper? She didn't look like anyone's wife, much less yours. Don't sweat it, copper. Everyone needs a little paradise). Handy skills to have as covers. But the price was steep. You seen the movie Total Recall? Where that guy has his memory erased and he's leading a new life but he's got no idea that that's what his situation is? Well, that was what we were like, little busy bees flying around on our own errands at the behest of our queen, never understanding the operation, never seeing the big picture. And never seeing the little picture, either. We knew our memories had been erased, knew there was no way to get them back. And when you live the series of lies, of bleached out half-lives for that long, you live with constant vertigo, wondering where the facade ends and where the 'real' you starts because there is no real anything. You start to feel like a chrome ball in an executive's desk toy--back and forth, up and down, side to side, pushed by strange forces you can feel and (sometimes) predict but never understand. The only thing you know for certain, deep down, the only solid thing you really have to cling to is that you'd rather munch on every poisoned candy apple and ice-cream bar in our assassin's treasure trove (everything must go!) than face His angry tirade. That is the absurd trinity of our existence--the mundane, the mockery of the mundane, and the seedy scheme you people invent to try to make it make sense! Oh, if there were only a way out of this nightmare, a horny prince with a sly kiss to break the spell so I could just WAKE UP and
not be not me!