"A bagel with cream cheese", okay... but... "and turkey"?! And then you heated it up?! In a microwave?!

I'd rather not rush to judgement, but it is beginning to seem as if there are worse problems going on here than just some retarded boy-band consumer-culture nonsense.

I'd agree with the rest of your writeup, if I could just get past the bagel thing. Baked goods in a microwave?! Dear God...

Listen, people, taking an axe to the TV is a crucial first step, but the microwave's gotta be next, even before you start avoiding magazine racks. If you teach your kids to put bagels in microwaves, I will not be responsible for the consequences.