Place the egg on a soft cloth on your countertop. This is to prevent it from rolling away.

Stand about two feet from the edge of the counter, with your feet slightly apart. Acknowledge the egg with a polite nod, fix its position in your mind, then close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Compose yourself. Relax the muscles of your arms, legs, back, and face. Hold yourself in a position of readiness. Breathe deeply and regularly until you reach a state of perfect equilibrium.

Think only of the egg.

In one smooth motion, shout "Hai!", open your eyes, and swing your right fist over your head and downward, such that it makes contact with the egg at the instant when its momentum is greatest.

If the procedure has been performed correctly, the egg will be completely destroyed. It should no longer pose a threat.

Make some toast, pour some coffee. Enjoy your breakfast.