I have applied the ultima ratio editorum, and I think it was for the best:
  • Bob The Martian (never logged in on E2) had a bad day:
    • pints of fish: "pint of fish :~: glass containing either {a} some fish (either whitebait or some other type), {b} a state of mind, {c}"

    • carrots: "Just west of Milton Keynes". I don't doubt it.

    • knives: "bit like knaves really." Weelll . . . No.

    • rotary phones: "Like normal phones except they go round in circles." Uh, Beavis . . . ?

    • albertross: Get it? "Albatross"! Get it? It might have been a joke about somebody named "Albert Ross", but it's real hard to tell. Maybe you had to be there, but I wasn't. At least he wasn't trying to spell "albatross"; in that case, I'd've had to dig him up and kill him. Again.

    • asd: "two". Ahhh.

    • counting: Something about a lawyer, followed by a list of cardinal numbers (one through eight with the exception of five).

    • half-dead iguanas: This looks like it might have been intended as "humor".

    Freakishly, Bob's first writeup (pyramids) isn't quite bad enough to kill on sight -- unless he has his facts wrong. It's the only one of his writeups I didn't kill.

  • half-dead iguanas by Laurence (never logged in on E2): "God damn those iguanas", no links.

  • The Badger Song by err . . . wharfinger: It seemed funny at the time. I was cold sober, as God is my witness. I liked the part where the poor turtle died. That was touching. The rest was less inspired.

  • "Rest" and "Study" by AsciiC: He verbosely explains that if you put scare quotes around them, they're meant ironically. Thank you. Nobody ever knew that. I think we should take every node we've got and node them all again, but with scare quotes, and explain each time what scare quotes do.

  • Rock, The by AsciiC: "Stuart's, and everyone's, favorite WWF star." He's a fan.

  • Too lazy! by AsciiC: " - Used to show you don't want to carry out a task." Oh, and he explains how it's pronounced.

  • S.D.M.T. by AsciiC

    "(prop.n) (acr) Ess-Dee-Em-Tee
    - Acronym: Stuart Daniel Mean Time, The time by which Stuart Mills and Daniel Mather run by. "

    This is a near-perfect example of something that nobody, anywhere, will ever care about.

    I'm wasting my Saturday morning deleting this fucking bullshit.

  • More by AsciiC: "You're a dick!", X-Y insult, Algebraic Insult

  • "The Meaning of Life"=!42 by ComradePenguin (last seen in April): "This node makes absolutely no sense". I'm inclined to agree. Worse, the title is broken: "=!" was probably meant to be "!=". As it is, "=!" is two operators. The '!' is unary. It would booleanly negate 42, and return zero. "=" would attempt to assign that zero to a string literal, which isn't meaningful.

  • Verything by cantsin (never logged in on E2): "Well, I never!" Not any more. pingouin's writeup there perplexes me; I /msg'd him.

  • Fender Stratocaster by BtS: "see Wayne's World." Kid, you're lucky you didn't do that to the infinitely precious Fender Telecaster, but even to deface Fender Stratocaster is a bad, bad thing. Do you really want to meet the implacable badgers, with their bright beady eyes and sharp pointy teeth? Leave Fender Telecaster alone, unless you're the human companion (Tele's, like cats, cannot be "owned", it's an absurdity: They're free citizens) of a Tele, and willing to give it all the love it deserves.

  • Free $oftware Foundation by Bozyo: He likes calling people "comple idiots". He seems not to like the Free Software Foundation. Fine, lots of people don't, but there's no content here.

  • B$D by Bozyo: Ditto, more or less. Neither had any links.

AsciiC NFN'd a long list of in-jokes, most of which can go. He noded forty two, for example. Right, yeah, you're the only one who ever read it! Good call! He thinks he invented scare quotes, too. He made a little metanode (The StuDan Dictionary) to help me track them all down. I'm tired right now so I'll get the rest later. I attempted to communicate with him, but he just snivelled and started ignoring me -- and noding with "Do Not Display in New Writeups" checked.

Nodeshells we can live without: Free $oftware Foundation

Title edits: "The Meaning of Life"=!42 -> "The Meaning of Life" != 42

Users with no writeups: ComradePenguin, Laurence, Bassman

I editor-cooled deep fried mars bar: Was that too light-hearted? I just really like that node. It means a lot to me.

/msg Bozyo Monty Python will be worth keeping if you add some hardlinks. /msg me if you have any questions about that.

/msg bretb soft link didn't work out too well, and it'll have to be removed. you don't have to hit "submit", you can just back out or go somewhere else. read Read Me First: Getting Started on E2, it should help. /msg me if you have questions. have fun

{PicoGUI} -- asked user to add some INFORMATION to an otherwise worthless writeup. /msg AsciiC regarding {This place suddenly scares the shit out of me.}: I don't hate you. Most of your writeups today weren't what we want, and I'd rather have worked it out: Deletion is a last resort. I'd rather help you write stuff we both like. /msg listener in {I don't smoke}, would you mind fixing the typo in "{extremely}"? thanks. Bozyo in {Monty Python} -- mediocre, but worth keeping if it has links. I /msg'd him about it. a god can add links if he flakes out. /msg Gaff did you read {God Save the Queen} before you added to it? Because that lyric is already there. You'd look better complaining about its absence if it weren't present, I think. A nuke request might be the best thing at this point. /msg WarMachine can you remove the pre tags from {Things to Do at Walmart}? it messes up the page, and I can't see any reason for it. /msg 0x45 in {I don't care if you're the customer, I still think you're wrong.}, it's "persistent", no 'a'.