The many-pocketed animal (thing)

Not yer ordinary pajamas, mate. Also, thoughts on being a many-pocketed animal.

"To his horror he recollected that he had left both coat and waistcoat behind him in his cell, and with them his pocket-book, money, keys, watch, matches, pencilcase—all that makes life worth living, all that distinguishes the many-pocketed animal, the lord of creation, from the inferior one-pocketed or two-pocketed productions that hop or trip about permissively, unequipped for the real contest." —Toad, The Wind In The Willows

"What kind of pinko pansy pajamas pockets you got, boy? I have two pockets, each big enough for a beer or a pocket pistol. And boy howdy you better believe there's a pack of smokes and an all-American Zippo too. Git outa here with yer girly white bread pjs!"
—me, to Glowing Fish

I just finished reading Why don't people wear pajamas all the time? and was gently enjoying the flow of thought when the gears crashed over the phrase "Pajamas lack pockets. Mostly." I had a humorous rant and then checked on my pajama stock.

So I have checkered pajamas and rocketship pajamas and penguin pajamas and some pajamas that aren't really even quite pajamas now saving in name only. I currently own several bathrobes, and because I'm basically a hermit other than occasional forays out for work or a small social life, I'm home-alone much of the time. This condition means that other than the gods and goddesses and one cat, I have no-one to dress for and because I am lazy I wear the easiest and most comfortable things.

Of course my many bathrobes have good sturdy pockets, suitable for stuffing phones and sandwiches and travelling tea mugs in, but what are pajama bottoms good for if not for the other whatnot? All mine have two pockets large enough for whatever I need around the place when having a bathrobe day. I'm a firm believer, like The Toad quoted above, that a goodly number of good pockets distinguishes us from the hoi polloi. My kilts have many many pockets of good capacity, why should my other clothing lack?

It's always been a source of much head-scratching that modren¹ clothing frequently lacks in this regard. Now I'm no historian, and not a clothing expert neither, but I definitely recall every pair of trousers I ever owned had two or three good pockets, every jacket at least three, and a dignified waistcoat ("vest") a minimum of two. In fact the one suit I had made-to-measure had—I counted carefully—ten whoops eleven (including the jacket breast pocket²). I'd carry round my wallet, notebook, change tray-purse-thingy, cigarettes, lighter, spare lighter, business card case, a pocketknife, a handkerchief, a pen or two and a dozen or so sundry receipts and other kipple. Oh, and I almost forgot the pocketwatch and fob because I was such a poseur in those days.

In short, like Toad, I wanted to be prepared for every eventuality. These days I'm similarly equipped. In fact I recently did a pocket dump with a friend present, and was carrying a torch ("flashlight"), two pocketknives (one for fruit and sundrie such meates, one for boxes and such), a good bandana, a notebook, pocket pen, a wallet, a bunch of keys, a moneyclip, ciggies and lighter, and of course my phone. When I'm out and about in town I also have a belt pouch with a sewing kit, a couple of thumbdrives, a small first aid kit, an emergency "space blanket", a spare torch, batteries and *checks notes* lipbalm, chewing gum and a bar of chocolate.

Women's clothing is simply the worst. I remember Tessie's jeans pockets were little more than finger-sized, literally not enough for coffee change. I recall wondering if the designers were crazy and that's why women carried handbags ("purses"). The friend I referred earlier to was once complaining about the dearth of capacious pockets on women's clothing; she showed me the tiny wee excuses for pockets in her jeans, that wouldn't even hold a phone. She managed to get my money clip in but it was a squeeze. Now this is a gal who keeps a large toolbox in her truck and likes to be prepared. Even women's Carhartt stuff is lacking, she says.

We have agreed that when I do my next annual clothes-shopping trip I'm taking her to Tractor Supply and the Western Wear shop in a nearby town so we can find something more fitting a woman who wants to carry more than four coins in her pockets. I showed her my original "Survival" Utilikilt and demonstrated that it could hold a good number of bottles of beer (we ran out of beer at twelve) and she was suitably impressed. Now that's what I call being "equipped for the real contest".