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A Quest For Tall Tales

"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." - [Mark Twain]


There are traditions in many cultures for telling [tall tales]. Stories that are larger than life, tales of gods and men. Think for example of [Paul Bunyan], [John Henry] and even [Robin Hood]. These are people about whom the tales grew with the telling, and those worthies are joined by such as the [Flying Dutchman], [Atlantis] and the moon being made of [green cheese].

Your task then, should you choose to accept it, is to tell tall stories. [Make shit up], in other words, create a modern mythology. Really simple. If you need some examples, look at [John Thomas Cholmondeley-Minge] and [Florian von Banier], or at [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Self-toasting_bread|this article] about self-tasting bread¹.


  1. This Quest will run from 0000 server time on 1 May, 2012 until 2359 on 31 May 2012.
  2. Writeups must be clearly and openly hard-linked to this node.
  3. Only writeups posted within the times allotted will be accepted.
  4. Let me know by private /msg once you have posted your writeup.
  5. Only writeups crafted for the Quest will be eligible.
  6. The standards for this Quest are high. Also, see N.B. below.
  7. Each writeup accepted will gain a small reward of 25GP.
  8. Each C! on accepted writeups will receive a bonus of 10GP.
  9. The judges' opinions are final.


N.B. There is a fine line between fiction and such tales. Let's lose the idea that this is a "fiction" quest. There is a big difference. These are stories told as though they are real. In these matters, the judges' opinions will be final. If you are in doubt, submit a draft and make it available to all the judges and request they review it.

The judges for this Quest are: [wertperch], [Jet-Poop], [Aerobe[user]], [Transitional Man]. The judging panel will, after the Quest has ended, select the best of all accepted writeups, and suitable rewards will be forthcoming.


The Accepted Entrants

  • [Shenzhen Glyph Stone] by [kozmund]
  • [Tequila tremble] by [jessicaj]
  • [Felix-Julien-Jean Nadjarian de Mulhouse] by [Hazelnut[user]]
  • [Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Behold] by [fool4luv]
  • [The Truth Shall Set You Free] by [borgo]
  • [A short tall tale about The Queen of England] by [moeyz]
  • [Drugs are only for cool kids] by [Glowing Fish]
  • [Everglades Goliath Gecko] by [Zed_Alpha]
  • [FoTurkey] by [wertperch]
  • [Frehlan Torpedo] by [Transitional Man]
  • [Blackwall Park] by [LeftUnspoken]
  • [El Cid[by LeoDV]] by [LeoDV]
  • [The Mighty Fitz] by [Hommerabi]
  • [Travelogue: New Britain, Connecticut] by [shaogo]
  • [Communist Party of China Fashion Expo] by [Sol Invictus]
  • [Commerce Anxiety Disorder] by [borgo]
  • [...said the liar] by [Pandeism Fish]
  • [May 15, 2012[by Zed_Alpha]] by [Zed_Alpha]
  • [Fleshlight] by [wertperch]
  • [Paul Krugman[by jet-poop]] by [Jet-Poop]
  • [Jay Bonci] by [wertperch]
  • [Stu Savage & The Band Of Destiny] by [StuartO)))]
  • [The Patron Saint of Liars] by [Zephronias]
  • [Roulez] by [e2reneta]
  • [The Deja Vu Tour] by [moeyz]

The Winners

Well, they were hard to pick, but after a quick deliberation, some tea and vegan biscuits and gravy, we have some winners!

  1. [El Cid] by [LeoDV]
  2. [Shenzhen Glyph Stone] by [kozmund]
    [Drugs Are Only For Cool Kids] by [Glowing Fish]
  3. [Felix-Julien-Jean Nadjarian de Mulhouse] by [Hazelnut[user]]
    [Frehlan Torpedo] by [Transitional Man]


Not Quite Lies But Nonetheless Very Worthy

  • [The Chopstick Diet] by [moeyz]


Too-early Worthies
  • [Murray Douglas] by [vonCube]
  • [Don't yank my chain] by [borgo]



¹ It's a lie! It's about self-toasting bread!

Existing:


Non-Existing: