Uni-Mart is a chain of convenience stores much like any other. The corporation's headquarters are in a large brick eyesore affectionately nicknamed The Uni-Building, which occupies most of a block in the tiny town of State College, Pennsylvania.

Uni-Mart has over 300 locations in Pennsylvania, New York, Delaware, Maryland and Virginia, though most are in Pennsylvania. Within State College itself, there are 12 locations, none of which will every carry my brand of cigarettes. Some question the intelligence of opening 12 separate Uni-Marts within a tiny town, some of which are within blocks of each other, and many conspiracy theories have grown up to explain Uni-Mart Corporation's apparent lack of business sense.

Besides its rather dim-witted operating procedures, Uni-Mart is also well-known for something called the Big Ugly (a very lumpy hot dog) and its extra inebriated employees.

Uni-Mart's greatest competitor is the ultra-spiffy Sheetz. Most of the Mid-Atlantic is loyal to one or the other and the division between the two camps is absolute.

One day I hope to work at Uni-Mart.