"Shout to god to bring my sunny day
I found this phrase lying on my car written on the fuzziest leaf I had ever seen in my life as I left work on my half hour of freedom they call lunch
. It was rather clever, if you ask me. It communicated herself quite accurately to me in the most abstract of ways. She was suprisingly clever at times... expecially on the sunny days, though in general I thought there was something lacking in her reasoning.
It was a gorgeous day. One of the first of last year. All the more reason to let the wind
blow more and more life into her hair as the gas pedal becomes heavier and heavier
. I had always warned her that she was a bit too much for herself
, but that had never really sunk in her thick
, yet inquisitive
After I had returned to work following my lunch
break, I got a call.
"Nick, I just got in a car wreck." The words seemed to echo for a moment. I knew she had to be well enough to be calling me, so my heart relaxed slightly.
"Are you alright?" I asked... for her more than myself, though I was concerned.
"I think so."
"Who's fault was it?" I asked, already knowing the answer. It was just her luck, getting in a wreck with no insurance. And besides, no one shouts to God to bring their sunny day and walks away without being taught a lesson in patience and understanding. It's like tugging at a sweater that's stuck on something. Calm and intellegent is the approach for those hitches. But she has to be spaztic
about everything. She recently told me she is now smoking cigarettes in an effort to do all the things she can in this life. I can do nothing but tell her how utterly fucking retarded it is to start smoking cigarettes so late in life!
"Mine, but wait..."
I was always the adult
of the relationship
. She went on to "handle" me the same way she did her parents. That's no way for a relationship to be... at least not for this cadet
. That's when I realized she was not what I was looking for. I'm not looking for someone to be beneath
me nor above me, but next to me. I have since put that quest in the hands of fate
. After all, love is only who you know, and fate has done quite well in handling that scenario for me. I just like to follow it along in no real hurry.