Living in the city this past 3 weeks has made me feel so much smaller... like I could go unnoticed forever if I really wanted to. It's an interesting feeling, and maybe even a little tempting, but I'm much too loud for that. And since this is a completely new environment, it's like ice skating right after the zamboni's been run. No ruts to guide me astray. But the ruts form quickly, so I'm struggling to make sure that I make the right ruts right off the bat. Thing is, I really have no idea what "the right ruts" would be.

I really can't define what I want out of life at this point. I spent the last 4 or so years focusing on my career in the graphic arts. It just trashed my love of photoshop and left my creativity a shrivled shell of something once so pure and free. I need art, plain and simple. I can't think of anything more important. Art, love and spirituality. They're all from the same source. I really just want someone to share it all with, though my heart is still very distracted in the most youthful of ways by her. My eyes were just too used to the dark. I'm still seeing spots over a month later because of her light.

Now, it's time to push my creative talents as far as they can go. I'm not sure what to do after that, but that's ok. The path will be lit by the right light at the right time. Besides, God helps those who help themselves.