I found it hard, hard to find what it was that I was looking for. I had it on the tip of my tongue
, but it slipped away. So instead of looking for something, I have been looking for what I was looking for. No sense in that, so I have decided to look for a focus
, a center mass. My girlfriend thinks it should be her, but I can't think that way about her. Maybe I don't love
her, maybe I'm selfish
and ungreatful for what I have. But I need to focus before making that kind of decision... and a better climate
. Winter is no time to make that kind of decision either. Cocoon
ed in my home save for a weekly jaunt
school or the occasional group jam
at a friend's house makes for some stir-crazed
thoughts.It doesn't help to have late eighties hair band
s blaring from the computer next to mine... stupid co-workers. I'm looking for a new job
to take me away from it all long enough to find my focus and understand what it is that I am truely looking for, but then that is one of those futile
statements people say when they lose track of themselves.
While I am looking for myself, I think I wanna find out why water is so heavy
too. It just never made sense to me.