YESTERDAY! January 25th, 2004

After an infinite amount of combative circles with my girlfriend, I decided to end our 2 year relationship, my longest to date. She has always loved me, and she takes care of me really well. We instinctively filled in the holes of eachothers personalities, and everything was pretty good. She just had some control issues that she could never rid herself of and I never really felt free to do what's right for me. I was constantly feeling bad for what I wanted to do. She spent so much time convincing me that I was being selfish for doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. She felt that I was neglecting her, but the truth is that I just didn't want to spend that much time with her. She always made me feel so bad for that, and I didn't want to be the bad guy anymore.

So, now I have a live-in ex-girlfriend and her cat, shadow, who both have no place to go. She (the girlfriend, not the cat) stays up all night... in the same bed as me (the couch is taken by a roommate who can't sleep without the TV on) ... crying cause I broke up with her. This is far too much to handle. When you break up with someone, the beauty is you don't have to see how upset they really are. Not in my case, though. She hasn't got any friends and her sister won't let her stay with her and she and her parents don't get along too well (though she could stay there if she had to). She's taking this pretty hard, but I haven't turned on her. I still support her and am her friend. She really is a nice girl, but I can't take the little sighs and glances and every other thing she does to let me know this is not ok... the nuances of control. It was all so frustrating.

Final Verdict: If you are in a relationship with someone who is alot of good things, but the over-all tone is negative... get out before she is forced into your home and you are stuck listening to her cry all night after you can't take it anymore and decide to call it quits and she's got no place to go. But, if you find yourself in this same predicament, be a real man and have some compassion for her. Make sure she's alright, and don't kick her to the curb. That shit just ain't right.