disclaimer: waverider37 loves new year's eve.
...coming up after the break, it's time for the fireworks! Only five minutes to go, stay tuned!
<random generic freaky late-night music>
<SQUEALS> IT'S 90'S BAND FURLONG FANS!
There'll be fireworks. But you're not there to see them.
There'll be kisses. But you won't be on the receiving end.
There'll be hangovers. But you won't know what one is.
New Year's Eve is way, WAY too overrated anyway. ...isn't it?
It's not for lack of trying. But somehow you're not attractive enough, or, something. It doesn't matter, you don't care. Not any more. Because the deadline's in a few minutes. Briefly you consider flicking the TV back on, but for some reason you enjoy the silence.
You don't want to be down there, on the biggest party day of the year. Especially when scores of people will end up in emergency wards, worldwide, for alcohol poisoning and drug abuse. There's no room to move in the quietest parties, and there'll be fights in the busiest by the end of the night. Too many cops, too many dickheads, too many cynical sourpusses who should be staying at home but just want to stir up some shit anyway. Isn't it safer to stay here, anyway?
It's arbitrary. Who chose December 31 as the last day of the calendar year? Why does it have to be such a big celebration? Hell if I'm going to be one of the crowd on a night like this. Alright, you survived another fuckin' 365 days. Good effort, but not a good reason to slam back all that tequila and waste all that gunpowder by using them in freakin' party poppers. What gives with those things? Messy as fuck!
And another thing. What's with the resolutions? Are you saying you're seriously going to change yourself just because it's a new year? If I see something that needs changing, I'll change it then and there! I don't need to wait until January! I mean, it's a waste of --
pop pop pop pop
BANG BANG BANG
Happy fuckin' New Year.