I used all my votes today, 50 of them. While I did not read all that I voted on, I think I read close to 40 writeups. I discovered this page which is something I wonder about often. I would like to ask every noder the origin of their name, except that I think I would come across as creepy. Also, quite a few times in my life, I have been chided for asking too many questions. This has happened to me even as an adult. I usually felt bad when that happens because I admire people who do not talk. I suppose the admiration comes from reading so many novels, usually bodice rippers where a man's attractiveness is described in strong, silent stereotypes.

All this reading and voting means I have sat in my office not doing any work today. I don't feel too badly about it because I have decided that time spent doing what I am enjoying is time spent well. Further, some of the stuff I read was stuff I didn't know before. And even though I would have forgotten it by this evening, I like to think reading stuff, even when forgotten, leaves some mark on the mind. I am reminded of a story about an old man whose grandson asked why he was always reading the Bible (or Koran depending on who is telling the story since Muslims have resorted to shamelessly plagiarizing Christian morality tales). The old man simply asked the boy to go fetch water in a coal basket. The boy did so while grumbling all the while. He returned with an empty basket and the old man sent him back. After a number of trips, the old man told the boy that reading the Bible constantly is like fetching water in a basket. The water might not stay, but the basket would be clean. I have always liked this story despite disagreeing with it. Having read both the Bible and the Quran, I honestly do not think they are that great, or that they clean the heart. Meanwhile back to the topic of water in a basket, it reminds me of another story that says man trying to understand god is like trying to understand the ocean by looking at a glass of water.

Talking to 2 female friends today, I was struck by the differences between them. One of whom is rather depressed, to the extent of having suicidal thoughts. I understand her completely because I have been there before. And our situations are pretty similar because we have nothing to complain about. We are relatively well off, young and healthy. In her own case, she seems to have a rather full social life and a supportive family. The only thing lacking in her life (based on traditional culture) is marriage and children. While she can get married, it is unlikely that she would have kids because she had to have most of the tissue in her ovaries removed due to something the details of which I don't know. While her job might be a drudge, it affords her the opportunity to travel twice annually for a vacation. Thus, while understanding her malaise, I also understand that it is baseless. This seems harsh but I think if there is no physical want or pain, then one should not complain. The other person has a similar situation as the other except that she is usually chipper. I suppose the fact that she has a lover, who, according to her is fantastic in bed and does not stress her might help. However, based again on traditional culture, her relationship is temporary. She has admitted as much to me. The relationship would probably not last because the lover is a married man. And while she admits they have not discussed his family, he appears to love his family, especially his daughter. She admires him because he appears to take his family obligations seriously. So, I wonder, is one happy because she has a man and is the other unhappy because she doesn't?

I suppose I should end this ramble. I am only writing it to pass the time. I have decided not to do any work today. I wonder what my subordinates think of me, alone in my office, issuing orders. I need to work, because I have expectations to meet, most especially mine. But even my subordinates are looking at me with hope. One of them, a really attractive woman (she's maybe 32. But in Nigeria, she would be called a girl because she is not married. I find that custom stupid), is poorly paid. Given her status, she should be paid better but the firm has not earned money since it was set up 3 years ago and the directors-cum-shareholders have refused to sanction any pay increases. I agreed with them when we had our board meeting. However, I need to earn some money so staff can get paid. I don't have a high opinion of most of the people who work for me. I hope they do not develop a low opinion of me. The only way to avoid that is to earn money. And so far, I have not done so. But, I am confident. And hopeful. And tomorrow, I will not come on https://www.everything2.com/. Instead, I will do what I am paid for.