I'm awake and it's amazing. Once so sleepy, now I feel the opposite: alive, stimulated, awake.

I finally got up and did something on my own, for myself. I drove to the elementary school, met Ms. N, and began my student observation. I was amazed at how different second grade seemed in this classroom than how I remembered it to be. I was only there for a few hours though, and this school is nothing like mine, but more like the one my mom teaches at. At risk. This is how they define all economically poor schools with improper funding in two words.

I come home feeling even more amazing - I feel like I'm having a long adrenaline rush that never ends...

My brain is working. It's a wonderful thing to feel alive.

I have been pondering a lot about the word "love" lately. I hear a general groan from the reader. Here comes another philosophical search for what love means to so-and-so. I think the realizations I have come to though are almost mind boggling and earth shattering for me. This is what I recall thinking while sitting on that moist dirt path in the woods at 2 am. This is what I remember thinking as I smoothed the earth off a yellow leaf in the dim light the moon squeezed in through thinning tree branches:

in this way Love can be separated from Lust

in this way Love cannot happen at first glance

Of course this is just what I think... and it will change with time... but when she told me to "go be in love" it seemed so cute and romantic and it sat in the back of my head saying "well... are you really in love?"