Return to Govern yourself accordingly (idea)

An [intimidating] yet [somehow] [surprisingly] [amicable] closing for a [threatening] [letter] sent to you by an [organization] [represent]ing [someone else]'s [legal] [and/or] [fiscal] [interest]s, such as a [collection agency].

The [insinuation] is that by [virtue] of their [prowess] in [litigating], and by the [wealth] of their [experience] in [dealing] with [other such matters], and [possibly] because they know [tougher] people than you know, your [position] is so [utterly] [untenable] that you might as well not even [imagine] that you can [defend] yourself, and you should [submit] to their [demands] [immediately].

Here's a little [example] of how it might be used:

[Re]: Impractical Payment Options [Co.]* [Inc.]

[Amount outstanding]: [It was just one of those little bills that you easily forget about...|$48.23]

Dear Mr. trotw00d:

Our [client] Impractical Payment Options Co. Inc. has referred your [account] to us for the [collection] of the [aformentioned] amount. [Please forward payment] to our [office] within [5 days] of [receipt of this notice]. [For your convenience] you may [contact] our office at [our [telephone number]] to [arrange] [payment] of your account.

If paying by [check or money order] please make [payable] to [Mean] Collection Agency Inc.*

[Govern] [yourself] [accordingly],

[[Signed]], Mean Collection Agency Inc.

* Not the real [name]s of the [companies].