Sixteen minutes after midnight

I can hear the laughing and the music, and the faint sound of crying from downstairs. Someone is being punished though I don't know why. I know the 'why' of why I'm sitting up here all alone and it makes me feel stupid. I look back on the year and have very few regrets but one big one is missings the New Year's Eve party this year. I know I deserve it. we won't go into what I did but I'll say it involved alcohol, extreme lateness, stupid choices, and breaking more of the Lady's rules than I care to think about. I can't help the tears that flow down my face silently. I know I've disappointed her and that's worse than any punishment she could decide on. I wish I could change things but there is no magical time machine.

Strangely, this internet confession has helped me whether it is sent to node heaven or not. I can't decide if it's the act of writing it all out or just remembering that others out there somewhere can understand how I feel. All I know is that I feel calmer. Thank you E2.