It's been awhile since i've taken the time to reflect on my thoughts. I float just outside of my brain directing my body with impartial commands. I've come close to noding, i've had many reasons to. Yet I could not, the words had no meaning.

Life seems to be a task which must be completed. Emotions appear, confusion, loneliness. These do not linger long in my concious mind. Everything is moving progressing towards the end. I've had to let go of it.

Emotional pain has become a constant companion. I do not have enough energy to fight it anymore. My life seems to be progressing, yet i've not shed many of the fears that hold me back. Without the pain to drive me and with no like minded souls to join me on my journey I back away, away from the crowd away from life.

If... no, never if. I must find a friendly soul, uncorrupted, caring and infinitely unique. Will I find you? Will you accept me, am I worthy? A million questions, a million more answers all of my own creation....
You must exist, you have to exist.... there is too much ugliness in the world, there must be another side.

When I speak of myself, "I", is so frequently used. But it is all that comes to mind. Empty inside, alone inside, not enough of a soul left to be an "I", join me, love me... take all that I have. what little is mine is yours.

guide me